Apologies
by eclarefanxxx
Summary: Clare Edwards certainly didn't expect herself to become who she was. Sometimes, you just need to apologize.


Clare Edwards stood facing her reflection in her mirror. She could not believe what she had become. After a particularly snarky comment towards her mother after she learned something rather interesting about Helen, Clare had received a full, much-needed lecture from her mother earlier that evening.

Dinner had ended, and Jake had gone back upstairs to his room in a hurry while Glen and Helen washed the dishes. Clare stayed behind to clear up the table since she had already finished her homework.

Glen and Helen both turned around after they finished the dishes. "Honey, we have something very important to tell you." Helen said excitedly, grasping her new husband's hand.

Clare looked up from the last spot she was wiping clean. "What?" she asked.

Glen and Helen shared a knowing glance and smiled back at Clare. "I'm pregnant!" exclaimed Helen, her brown eyes widening in happiness. Glen grinned. "Isn't that great? You'll be getting a baby bro or sis!" he laughed.

"WHAT?" Clare exploded, slamming the cloth on the table. "You've got to be kidding me, mom! I don't want a 'baby bro' or a 'baby sis'. I want Darcy to come home, and I want you and my real father back together! How could you do this to me? To our family? I hate you two so much!"

Helen gasped, placing her free hand over her heart. "Clare Diane Edwards! Surely you don't mean that! Don't you dare speak to us like that again." She gestured to her husband. "Glen is your stepfather, and you will treat him with respect."

"Oh, I meant all of it, mom! Every word of it! I hate this so much! You married my 'stepfather' way too soon, and I hate living with Glen and his stupid son!" Clare was on the verge of tears with tears swimming in her blue eyes.

Helen broke away from Glen and stood close to Clare. "Young lady, you have been acting so disrespectful lately. You are so self-centered nowadays, Clare! The daughter I knew was not like this." She placed her hands on her hip. "Alli's mother called me and said you two aren't getting along! She said that you called Alli a 'slut' and a 'bitch'? Clare, you need to clean up your act and apologize to the people you've hurt because you are way out of line!"

Clare was shaking now, gripping the table in a death grip as Glen stood awkwardly in the kitchen. "Fine, mom! At least you're getting a new little child that will turn out much better than me! You're having another kid because Darcy and I aren't good enough. We've never been enough for you! You didn't even come skiing in Maine with dad, Darcy, and I because you were too busy pampering yourself at home! You don't care, mom. You never did."

"Clare, this is not about the past or your sister. This is about you. You are not the same girl as you were before, and I am appalled that you would be so cruel to Alli. I was beyond embarrassed and ashamed when Mrs. Bandhari told me what you said to her daughter!" she gestured back to her husband, who was leaning against the sink and looking at the floor. "Glen and I having a child should not spark bad behavior in you, Clare. We are just trying to make this family work, and we wanted a child. Jake already knew."

Clare straightened up in shock. "Jake knew? How could you tell him first?"

"We knew he would take the news easier than you." Her mother answered, her face growing red with anger.

"Mom, I hate this. I hate this living situation; I hate Darcy being so far away in Africa and never visiting! I absolutely _hate_ this family. Clare yelled, stomping up the stairs.

Helen burst into angry tears and retreated into Glen's arms. "It's okay; she'll come around." He assured her, stroking her brown hair.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Clare stormed into Jake's room. "JAKE!"

He was on the computer with his music blasting at the maximum volume. He did not hear her.

Clare angrily stomped over to the stereo and turned the knob all the way down. "We need to talk. Now." She hissed at him.

"Can you just leave me alone? I have schoolwork to do." Jake rolled his eyes at his stepsister while continuing to type on the computer.

Clare peered over his shoulder at the computer screen. "Oh please. You're not doing schoolwork. You're chatting with Alli on FaceRange."

Jake closed the chat box and closed the website. "What do you want?" he snapped, rolling his brown eyes in annoyance.

"I want you to explain to me why the hell you didn't tell me about your _dad_ getting my _mom pregnant_?" Clare's jaw clenched as she sat on his bedspread a few feet away from his computer chair.

"I knew you would freak out, just like you are right now! Stop being such a drama queen, Clare. I'm not exactly thrilled either, but if my dad's happy, then I'm happy for him. You should consider doing the same." Jake murmured, turning around to face her with his hands folded on his knees.

Clare fiddled with her purity ring. "But what about my happiness? Does that not even matter anymore?" her blue eyes watered up with tears of confusion and regret.

Jake laughed darkly. "You see? Do you see what I mean? That right there is why you're so alone, Clare! You only care about your _own_ happiness, not anyone else's."

Clare's mouth gaped in shock. "I-I just…I just…Darcy…and my dad cheating…my mom having another b-baby…" she trailed off, eyes becoming fully clouded with water that was just about to spill down her cheeks.

Jake sighed in frustration. "Clare, I understand that you miss your sister. I think it's actually really shitty that she never calls or visits you." Clare sniffled. "R-really?" Jake nodded his head sadly. "Yes, but Clare…that doesn't mean you can just stop caring. You stopped caring about how everyone else felt since the summer started, and I don't like it. No one does. You won't even forgive your best friend, who is constantly texting and calling you and not getting any replies."

"Can you blame me for shutting people out, Jake? My own father cheated on my mom and ditched my family! Not to mention my best friend kissed my _boyfriend_." Clare retorted, letting the tears fall.

Jake jumped out of his computer chair in anger and Clare followed his lead. "Your father was wrong to do that, but his mistake was not meant to hurt you. He made a mistake, and yes, he did hurt you by cheating on Helen, but you can't let that dictate how you treat other people!" Clare's lips formed into a thin line as he continued. "Alli kissed me, but I wasn't your boyfriend at the time! You told me we were over at the wedding, so I left to get an escape! Dave cheated on Alli; keep in mind that this is the second time a guy has cheated on her. Now that she has no best friend, she's upset and needs someone to talk to. Therefor we've been talking on FaceRange because I'm being a _friend_ to her, Clare. Nothing more."

Clare took a step back, her bottom lip quivering. "I didn't know he cheated on her. I should have been there for her. Oh my gosh, I'm so…wrong."

Jake frowned. "Clare, you're my sister now. You can't get jealous every time I talk to other girls. What you and I had was nothing more than a rebound from your breakup with Eli, and you know it. Don't even try to tell me otherwise."

"I really liked you! You broke my heart at prom when you left me standing on the dance floor!" Clare yelled, eyes narrowing as she kept in the sobs she knew would eventually come.

Jake rolled his eyes. "We had to breakup; our parents were getting _married_. Do you not understand how weird it is to date your _stepsister_?"

"I didn't want them to, but you never took my side. You abandoned me, and you went along with the whole thing!" she replied, anger glinting in her ice blue eyes.

Jake stepped closer to her. "What choice did I have? It's not like they would have decided to not go through with it even if I had sided with you. My dad was _happy_, Clare. He hasn't been this happy since before my mom died, which was three years ago."

"I-I'm sorry," Clare stammered, staring at her feet in shame.

"I don't want to tell you what to do, but if I were you, I'd apologize to my best friend and…my ex." Jake said slowly, making eye contact with Clare for the first time in a minute or so.

Clare glared at him. "What makes you think I owe Eli an apology? If anything, he owes me one for putting me through all that last year!"

Jake burst. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, CLARE." Clare stepped back, alarmed by the sudden outburst. "AN APOLOGY IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU OWE ELI. WHAT WILL BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, CLARE? HE DID SOME CRAZY SHIT, BUT HE WENT TO THERAPY. HE HELD YOU WHEN YOU CRIED ON HIS SHOULDER WHEN ADAM WAS SHOT AT PROM. HE FOUND YOU IN THE WOODS AND TOOK CARE OF YOUR HAND. YOU LED HIM ON SO MANY TIMES THIS SUMMER, CLARE. DO YOU HONESTLY BELIEVE YOU'RE SO INNOCENT?" After his outburst, he looked at Clare in a burning rage.

Clare burst into tears. "I love him! Okay? I love him so much, and I tried to convince myself I loved you because I thought it would be easier to just date the guy who has no issues! The truth is, none of it is easy! You're my stepbrother, so I can't be with you. I don't think I can be with him after all that's happened. I have a new stepfather now, and I'm going to be getting a baby brother or sister! I can't handle it, okay?" She sank onto the floor, burying her face in her knees.

Jake crouched in front of her, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Clare, I'm sorry for screaming at you. Listen, I know you love Eli. Hell, everyone knows it." Clare slowly lifted her head up, revealing her blotchy tear-streaked face. "Really?" she asked. Jake smiled weakly. "Yes, and I think you need to go to him right now and tell him that. The guy is head over heels for you, Clare. You and I can figure the rest out later; just go to Eli." Jake helped her up and ushered her out of his room.

She stood in the hallway for about 30 seconds longer. "He's right," she whispered to herself, bolting down the stairs. Helen and Glen were nowhere to be seen; Glen probably took his wife out somewhere to get her mind off her awful fight with her daughter.

Clare ran fast down the various sidewalks that led to the Goldsworthy home. She reached the front door after running up the steps and rang the doorbell.

Eli answered. "Clare? Come in," he held the door open for her as she stepped inside. He shut the door and turned to face her, noticing her upset appearance. "What happened? Come on; let's go sit on the couch."

Clare slowly sat on the couch next to Eli, shifting to face him. "I-I don't know how t-to say this, but I love you." She breathed out. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I've been in denial the whole summer, so I just thought if I didn't deal with it, it would just go away. That feeling never went away, Eli, and it never will."

Eli's brows furrowed. "Edwards, I don't follow. You completely ignored me after the cabin party, and you haven't talked to anyone in weeks. You avoided me in school, even in English. Where is this coming from?"

Clare grabbed his hand softly and intertwined her fingers with his, brushing her thumb over his warm knuckles. "I haven't been myself lately. I guess I just realized how much I've been hurting everyone today. My mom told me some news that set me off earlier this evening."

Eli looked down at their hands, feeling warmth radiate through his whole body. "News?" he inquired.

Clare took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Jake and I are getting a baby brother or sister."

Eli's eyes widened. "Wow! That's…that's really something, Clare. Congratulations to your family!"

Clare smiled at his kindness. "Eli," she breathed, scooting closer to him. "No one has ever loved me as much as you did, or maybe still do. You've never left my side in any situation, and I owe you the world for that. I was selfish, but I'm here now. I don't want you going away to college thinking for one second that I didn't love your kisses, appreciate the times you held me while I cried, and regret hurting you. Please, just…take me back. I need you."

Eli drew her closer by wrapping his arms around her tiny waist. "Clare Diane Edwards, I love you." With that, they kissed passionately and with fervor. Clare fell on top of Eli as she pushed him onto his back on the couch. She slowly pressed kisses into his neck, making him moan and lean his head back in pleasure. She trailed her kisses to his lips, taking his breath away with more kisses.

Clare pulled back. "I love you so much. Can we take this to your room?" she asked shyly, grinning when Eli jumped up and carried her into his room, never removing his lips from hers.

Two Hours Later…

Clare lay in Eli's warm arms under the covers of his bed. The warmth radiating off their chests were gathering each other in clouds of comfort. They had made love in a fit of passion and making up for lost time the hour before. Clare smiled in bliss as she snuggled closer to Eli. His chest was warming her heart as she heard his hurt beating slowly and steadily.

"Hey," he whispered as he woke up and grabbed her hand carefully.

Clare pecked his lips. "Hey,"

"You don't…regret anything, do you?" Eli asked, kissing her forehead.

"Not a damn thing." Clare grinned, running her fingers through his hair.

TWO WEEKS LATER…

Eli and Clare sat side by side in the cafeteria with Clare's head leaning on his shoulder. He smiled down at her as she took bites from her sandwich and laughed with all their friends. Alli and Clare had made up after their huge fight last week. Alli was laughing hysterically as her new adoring boyfriend, Liam, tickled her relentlessly.

Adam rolled his eyes playfully, begging them to stop the PDA. "You guys, we're trying to eat here," he joked.

Alli giggled, kissing Liam's nose. "Well, Adam, I apologize for my boyfriend's cuteness."

Adam laughed. "Officially, I am tired of being single." Just then, a girl with long brown hair in a red Degrassi polo and khaki shirt walked by to dump her trash in the garbage can. She sauntered off after flashing Adam a wink and a flirty half smile.

Eli laughed as the girl walked off. "Who's that?" Clare kissed the side of his neck from where she was leaning on his shoulder. "That's Tessa Jones; she's in our grade, obviously. Rumors has it she's quite fascinated with Machismo over here." Clare grinned at Adam, who was blushing furiously.

Alli's eyes widened when she tore her lips away from Liam's cheek. "Adam, go talk to her!" she practically shoved him out of his seat as he strolled over to where the girl was standing.

The whole table watched as Adam and Tessa began talking about various topics for about a minute. "Oh my gosh, fifteen bucks says they're going to be an item by Friday." Clare slapped money on the table.

Eli scoffed. "I'll put twenty for Thursday,"

The whole table burst out laughing as Adam came back from his conversation. "Well?" everyone asked.

Adam's cheeks burned. "I got her number…and she's in my French and Civics class."

Eli and Liam high fived Adam as their girlfriends giggled at the adorableness of the situation. "She's really pretty; you did well, Adam." Clare grinned, pecking Eli on the lips.

"SUSPENDED FOR PDA!" Adam bellowed, causing them to break apart. "Oh, it's on!" The whole table laughed hysterically as Clare and Eli began pelting grapes at Adam's face.

Just then, Jake walked by with his new girlfriend, Erica Greene. Clare made eye contact with her brother and smiled as he waved back and leaned down to kiss his blond girlfriend.

Imogen Moreno and Fiona Coyne approached the table then, holding hands. That's right, Imogen and Fiona got together during the summer. They didn't tell anyone until school started.

"Room for two more?" Fiona giggled as she sat down on Imogen's lap in the empty seat.

"Sure, join the couples table. Oh wait; I'm the only single one!" Adam said sarcastically, staring at all the lovebirds around him.

Imogen kissed Fiona's head as she shot back, "Not for long," Tessa walked back up and shyly leaned over the table. Everyone turned to look at her expectantly.

"Adam, I need some help with the French homework. Could you please help me?" she asked sweetly, twirling her beautiful locks of brunette hair.

Adam practically exploded out of his seat. "Sure," the two crushes walked off into the JT Yorke memorial garden and began 'studying'.

Everyone smiled in happiness for their friend. Adam was such a good guy; he deserved happiness, especially after what happened to him.

The 2011-2012 school year at Degrassi surely wouldn't be an easy one; at Degrassi, nothing was exactly easy. However, they knew they could make it through, whatever it takes.


End file.
